we are all drawn to each other
by mysterious forces
in this tribe
we were all born
to help Earth ascend
we feel it
we know it
how we love each other
sexy, romantic characters
sometimes we’re drawn to connect deeply
(heart and flesh)
it’s the biological imperative
feel its vicissitudes
(be present in your own drama)
it's the fastest way to evolve
let it come and go
cry about it
holistically unattached to how it appears
(love is all-ways here)
the work must go on
- girl writes blog
- boy reads blog
- boy hires girl to do research
- years pass
- boy arranges to meet girl for coffee while visiting her area (with no expectations)
- boy & girl hit it off and it becomes obvious they are to spend some serious time together Now
- girl begins planning to migrate Eastward (coincidentally, he lives where she has many loving friends)
- girl writes point form update on her blog & keeps her romantic life private ever after
this video has some text around the concept of Twin Flames that reminded me to keep my "vibration" around wanting a partner energetically positive
today I replace the feeling of ache & longing with a sense of gratitude that my patience will be rewarded and that until/if it manifests I will love everything and everyone around me to the best of my ability
this is something I've understood intellectually for some time (like attracts like) & Now is the time to apply it fully
of course, the biological imperative is a factor & something to be embraced, accepted, and sometimes (consciously!) enjoyed Now
Today's lesson is: when one is working on establishing new habits, it is important to stay loving towards the other people in one's life who are still reflecting the old patterns.
While it may be preferable to get away from those people for awhile, it's not always possible, which can also lead to feelings of being trapped.
There is likely no reason to run away. A little extra discipline of the heart (& the mouth) is all that's required...
From the book Love and Awakening by John Welwood
Since we originally lost touch with ourselves in our relations with others, that is where we often seek to find ourselves again. In truth, a good relationship can help us become more whole, but not in the magical way we often imagine. Instead, by calling forth deeper qualities of our nature that we have lost touch with, love also brings us up against confining identities that normally cut off our access to these qualities. And this provides a special opportunity: We have to be pushed right up against our prison walls -- which are made out of old self-images -- before we can start to break through them and discover who we really are. Once we are up against these walls, the need for a conscious relationship becomes more apparent, and also more imperative.
A friend shared this "anonymous" thread that's been circulating the Internet...
---------------are like apples-----------------
-----------on trees. The best ones-------------
---------are at the top of the tree.-----------
--------The boys dont want to reach------------
------for the good ones because they ----------
----are afraid of falling and getting hurt.----
--Instead, they just pick the fallen apples----
----from the ground that aren't as good, ------
--but easy. So the apples at the top think-----
--something is wrong with them, when in--------
----reality, they're amazing. They just--------
-----have to wait for the right man to---------
------- come along, the one who's--------------
------------- brave enough to------------------
-----------------to the top--------------------
----------------of the tree--------------------
-------------to take the best bite.------------
This is a Q&A from today's Eckhart Tolle newsletter which was of personal interest as "Julie" reflects several things I've been reflecting upon...
My name is Julie and I am 37 years old. Just like most people I also have my own sad story, but I am pleased to say that thanks to many years of therapy, self help, meditation and recently your teachings, I identify with it less and less and rather appreciate the now and my life more and more.
In fact, I feel quite satisfied in general and I really don't long for anything anymore… that is, except for one thing…
I am single and have been for about 6 years. I really really want to find love, a spiritual partner, and have a family. So when I ask the question 'Is there anything wrong with this moment', usually I answer 'no' and appreciate the present moment and feel the wonderful feelings that come with it. However, sometimes I feel lonely. I can usually dissolve that feeling by observing it. So the feeling does go away but it still doesn't solve the problem that I 'AM' alone.
Isn't it normal to want a partner and children, especially for a woman? Is it my ego clinging to an identity formed by society or is my need for maternity visceral and relevant?
And either way, what should I do as I really feel like this is something important that I am missing in my life and it is sometimes quite painful for me. Therefore I can accept it to a certain degree but I still long for it.
At some point, life became divided into male and female, the basic polarity. On the level of our physical form, each one of us embodies this polarity. We are either male or female, which means we are only one half of the whole (I also speak about this in the Power of Now). There is a pull in every human being towards wholeness, which in essence is spiritual, i.e. the return to oneness. On the level of form this expresses itself as a longing for completion through merging with the opposite energy polarity. On the most basic level, it manifests as sexual desire, then as the emotional need to be with a man or a woman, then as love between a man and a woman. (Even in gay couples the basic polarity still operates on an energetic level).
Ultimately, of course, a sense of wholeness and deep fulfillment cannot be found on the level of form, but only through accessing the spiritual dimension of consciousness itself. It is also true that the female body is conditioned through evolution to perpetuate life, to give birth and nurture. So your desire to have a partner and children is indeed, as you put it, visceral. This in itself is not of the ego, although it can become part of it, if it is incorporated into the egoic mind’s judgements and story-making (I need a man/woman to make me happy etc.). It is at this point that male/female relationships become beset with “problems”. Even love easily becomes corrupted in this way by the mind.
So, must you remain unfulfilled unless you find a partner, have a family and children? No. (As you must have observed, there is unhappiness in many relationships and marriages).
Since the spiritual dimension has already come into your life, you are beginning to realize that the essence of your being, which is formless, is not really affected even though you may feel some sense of lack on the level of form. For some people, it is precisely the experience of some strong sense of lack that drives them deeper into their essential selves – the I Am without attributes, beingness itself. Of course, you remain open for a relationship or marriage to come into your life, of course you would be happy to have children and indeed this may still happen. But your inner peace and your sense of who you are do not depend on it.
Generally speaking, whenever you experience the lack of something on the level of form that is conventionally considered important for one’s happiness (lack of relationships, of money, lack of freedom, of health, of social identity etc.), use this, while it lasts, as an opportunity to go more deeply within to find the Being that you are prior to all identifications. At the same time, you do what you can on the outer level to remedy this lack. You are much more likely to succeed without if you have already succeeded within. In any case, there is a sense of inner freedom from what happens or doesn’t happen.
Blessings on your journey. Eckhart.
I am involved with two major projects where I am one woman working with a group of men.
I have been encountering reflections from other women who feel that I am somehow being dominated or taken advantage of in these situations. While I appreciate my sisters' concern, I am going to continue on the path I am currently on (while keeping my eyes open for shifting tides.)
Upon reflection, I feel that at the core things are okay and that these ideas are a function of reflections around collective anger over "the patriarchy" in general that many women (including myself) carry.
I grew up with a feminist mother and see that while yes, male dominance is certainly a factor in our history & society there is also a great need for men and women to work together. In many ways I feel this is the naturally intended order of things for humanity.
Does this make me weak or submissive? No!
There are always going to be "power" issues in my work and personal relationships (with both men AND women) and I feel that I'm currently in the right place and doing the right thing.
Last night I went along with a friend to a burlesque show that featured everyday women who had gone to a series of classes on the subject about how to create an act & attach pasties to themselves, etc.
It was a strange scene with a lot of hooting and hollering (the other women yelled more than the guys) and I was impressed at the courage of the women to get up there, especially with all of the photographs being taken! Most of the people there seemed to know each other.
I can see why for many, real girls showing less and having fun are much sexier than full on strippers who do it for the money!
And no, you won't be seeing me doing it in a neighbourhood bar!
This study of sexual selection found that creativity is more of a factor in attraction than material wealth.
Personally speaking, I admire creative men, however I am not going to "want" someone just because I like their art. While I get excited about music especially, I'm definitely no groupie and won't be putting out just because someone is talented! I'm more interested in someone I can enjoy spending time with, and for me if someone is able to talk music and make music that definitely makes them more appealing. I've released the idea that I'll only date musicians however :)
This study is fascinating however I think it's difficult to measure the whys of attraction. I like the French concept of it being about je ne sais quoi.
Sexual Selection for Cultural Displays
Human culture does not make much sense as a set of survival adaptations shaped by natural selection. Too much of cultural behaviour, such as art, music, ritual, ideology, myth, humour, and story-telling, seems so expensive in terms of time, energy, and practice costs, and so useless for survival. Anthropologists have struggled for a century to find plausible survival functions for such cultural behaviours, and have not succeeded to their general satisfaction. Indeed, the difficulty of finding survival functions for much of human culture has led many cultural anthropologists to abandon evolutionary explanation altogether as irrelevant and distracting.
This pessimism is misplaced, because it ignores the astonishing revival of Darwin’s sexual selection theory in biology over the last two decades. That revival has not been taken seriously by cultural theorists, but it seems to offer their best hope for a fruitful connection with human evolutionary psychology. Human culture makes a great deal of sense as a set of courtship adaptations shaped by sexual selection through mate choice. The costs and aesthetics of cultural behaviour that make it so inexplicable in survival terms make it perfect as a set of reliable fitness indicators that help advertise one’s superiority over sexual competitors. This hypothesis offers a natural way of explaining the distinctive age and sex patterns of human cultural production.