I've been online a long time and my web presence is starting to feel scattered and in some cases, rusty.
I'll be working on this over the next few months, and most likely moving most of my work (and possibly this blog) over to alwaysadapting.com.
It's time to assess what I've got out there and rework it for the next phase.
Part of the motivation to do so is creative and part is career development related.
I'm settled into my new apartment and it is starting to feel more and more like a sanctuary. I have space for yoga, a big kitchen, and a place to practice music where I'm not bothering anyone.
The next step is filling the place with more plants...
A few weeks ago I put out a "housing wanted" ad on the Toronto edition of Craigslist:
I am a single female looking for an apartment that is above a store or office that is closed at night so that I can practice (not loud) music after my (steady, professional) day job without bothering anyone.
I am generally just playing the flute, but I do have a set of electronic drums (which I use with headphones) and I sometimes sing.
I am looking for something East of Yonge because I work in Scarborough. Ideal would be walkable to a Danforth TTC station.
No one answered the ad, but the first place I went and looked at in person (in response to someone else's Kijiji ad) fit the bill perfectly, and they chose me over several other applicants. It's less than 5 minutes' walk from a Danforth TTC station and is above a shop that closes at 6. I won't have to go through downtown at rush hour anymore, and I'll be commuting 10 fewer hours every week than I am now (glorious!)
I'm feeling like I've endured a lot and accomplished a lot in the last 3 years while living in my current space and this is a big reward. I'm also looking forward to the next phase (& having my own kitchen again!)
I've activated Less Stress Press by registering the domain name and putting a few booklets up.
Things are busy right now, but I hope to get some new writings completed soonish...
I haven't updated this page much lately, I've wondered if anyone really reads this other than 3 or 4 friends.
Right now I'm living in Toronto, doing a cubicle job and playing music as much as possible. The work I'm doing suits me (data management) but I'm underpaid and receive no benefits because I'm "on contract" (renewals every 6 months, for now) which I think is an immoral accounting trick. I'm looking but not holding my breath.
I get by OK because I live quite simply and have no kids, pets, TV, car, or debt payments. I think I could do better financially and am looking into obtaining some kind of tech credential, probably related to working with databases. I understand that my "life's work" and my livelihood may never be the same thing and that's OK.
I'm playing drums in a band that sounds amazing live, but we haven't put together any recordings that do it justice yet. I don't think we'll ever be popular, but the music is fantastic and the way it feels even in practice is a major peak experience, every week. I've also recently joined another group that is more gentle and mellow and I still play flute and sing. I also go to drum circles and many concerts. I feel music more viscerally than most, and that alone is enough to keep me going, to give me a sense of purpose in life.
Lately I've been thinking about writing more than I write but that's changing. I have about 200 pages of a novel and I'm going to cut out the boring parts and retool everything. I'm aware that I've been "going to" do this for awhile but yet I'm confident that when it's time, it will happen.
I'm older but still look mostly the same, if not better. I'd like to find someone to "be with" but not liking TV alone makes me incompatible with most.
Things will be different in a few months, most likely.
I've just finished transcribing my old stack of journals! I didn't type up everything, just what I felt might be worth sharing.
I'll share the whole document after some formatting/editing work, but here's an excerpt:
January 3, 2006
Travelling and talking, exporing and seeking, I’ve done my share of them all, but somehow it all leads back INSIDE. The outer world, the people we meet all as projections, reflections, refractions of the Love that exists inside.
Really, there’s nowhere to go (though it’s beautiful to explore) because it’s all HERE, NOW. Somehow these ideas resonate but I know my understanding is limited at this juncture in so-called space and time.
The key to me it seems is Presence, being here now, paying attention, bringing the multislacking mind back to the centre, the light (whatever we call it, however it’s experienced) and embracing it all (including our pain and transgressions) as Perfect.
There are no mistakes on the journey.
I've pulled out an old suitcase full of journals and am going to go through them to see what I can find.
I imagine some will get tossed, but that I'll also find a few useful gems that can be used in other writing projects.
The earliest one is from 2001, around the time I threw out everything I'd written up to that point.
I'm feeling really at home in Toronto and am playing a lot of music! My band Giant Triangle has its first gig on October 12, and I've been going to a lot of drum circles & jam sessions. I also played for an outdoor yoga class at the Junction Music Festival this weekend. I still have a day job but I'm finding the more I focus on music, the better things go in all aspects of my life. I feel like not depending on music for money allows me to be less stressed & more creative (though I wish I had more time for it!) It's about improving my own musical skills and spending as much time in "the zone" as possible. Good times.