I’ve been going through a lot of “personal growth” in the four months since I arrived in this small town after 7 years in Toronto. I was used to a 9-5 downtown cubicle job and a manic social life, and now I’m alone most of the time and starting over. I’ve made drastic transitions before and can handle this and I also welcome and CHERISH it, as it’s what I wanted and I can see that I’m headed somewhere exciting and beautiful.
The emotional healing I’ve experienced here is likely a combination of relaxation, rest, clean water, and other factors, but mostly is from lack of constant busyness. I have learned that calm focus is a more effective way to work than hurrying to meet (often meaningless) deadlines. It’s also important to have time to reflect.
The process has involved figuring out that certain parts of my personality were defense mechanisms and/or bad habits, most of which were acquired early in life. It’s amazing how conditioned we are!
The key is digging in and finding the essential you. Sometimes the things you discover along the way are really dark or embarassing. While most of us don’t like to think about these things, facing up to them and being honest with yourself about your past are really important.
Everyone goes through this crap. It’s part of being human. It’s progress. A sense of humor about yourself and how ridiculous you can be also helps!
The biggest emotional hurdle I have had to go through was to learn to forgive myself for all the “bad” things I said and did in the past. As a recovering high-strung perfectionist type, learning to forgive others had been much easier.
Forgiveness… try it. Forgive your parents, forgive yourself, forgive that kid who punched you in 3rd grade, forgive your exes, everybody. It probably wasn’t about you anyway. Not everyone will accept your apologies, but forgiveness is something you do for yourself. It’s magical stuff.
Forgive to Live
http://cms.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20000701-000025.html
Still holding grudges? Check your pulse: New research suggests that harboring feelings of betrayal may be linked to high blood pressure which can ultimately lead to stroke kidney, or heart failure or even death.
Forgiving Yourself and Others
http://www.learningplaceonline.com/spirit/forgive/yourself-others.htm
To forgive another person does not mean you will forget what happened or that the person is not responsible for what he did or that you need to bring him back into your life. To forgive another doesn’t even need to mean the other person knows you’ve forgiven him or her. To forgive another simply means you no longer allow another person’s actions or words to cause you resentment, anger and pain. To forgive means you acknowledge that while you would have preferred the other person act or speak differently, you accept that person just as he is.
The Power of Forgiveness
http://www.divorcemag.com/library/relationships/powerofforgiveness.html
If you’re feeling stuck in your divorce recovery, you may need to forgive your ex — and yourself. Here’s how.
What Does the Bible Say About Forgiveness?
http://www.bible.com/answers/aforgive.html
The Bible speaks about every person needing forgiveness and every person needing to forgive. Why? Because we are all sinners in need of God’s forgiveness. None of us is perfect. We need God’s grace and we need to extend that same mercy to others. This subject is the very essence of true Christianity. Until we understand it, we will not really understand God Himself.
Forgiveness in Islam
http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Park/6443/Salvation/forgiveness.html
Just as it is important to believe in the mercy and forgiveness of Allah, it is also necessary to base human relations on forgiveness. We cannot expect Allah’s forgiveness unless we also forgive those who do wrong to us. Forgiving each other, even forgiving one’s enemies is one of the most important Islamic teaching. In the Qur’an Allah has described the Believers as “those who avoid major sins and acts of indecencies and when they are angry they forgive.” (al-Shura 42:37)
Forgiveness – A Halachik Perspective
http://members.aol.com/LazerA/forgive.htm
Jewish law (Halacha) requires us to ask forgiveness from anyone whom we may have harmed, whether the harm was physical, financial, emotional, or social. Nevertheless, one is required to be gracious in granting forgiveness. The source for this halacha is the Mishna in Baba Kamma 8:7 which says, “From where do we know that it is cruel to not forgive? For it says, “Abraham prayed to God and God healed Abimelech…” (B’reishis (Genesis) 20:17).
