margonaut.com

we are all drawn to each other
by mysterious forces
in this tribe

we were all born
to help Earth ascend
we feel it
we know it

media kidz!
how we love each other

sexy, romantic characters
sometimes we’re drawn to connect deeply
(heart and flesh)
then not

it’s the biological imperative

feel its vicissitudes
(be present in your own drama)

it’s the fastest way to evolve
after all

yet
let it come and go
enjoy it
cry about it
with passion

holistically unattached to how it appears
(love is all-ways here)

how-ever
re-member
the work must go on

• girl writes blog

• boy reads blog
• boy hires girl to do research
• years pass
• boy arranges to meet girl for coffee while visiting her area (with no expectations)
• boy & girl hit it off and it becomes obvious they are to spend some serious time together Now
• girl begins planning to migrate Eastward (coincidentally, he lives where she has many loving friends)
• girl writes point form update on her blog & keeps her romantic life private ever after

this video has some text around the concept of Twin Flames that reminded me to keep my “vibration” around wanting a partner energetically positive

today I replace the feeling of ache & longing with a sense of gratitude that my patience will be rewarded and that until/if it manifests I will love everything and everyone around me to the best of my ability

this is something I’ve understood intellectually for some time (like attracts like) & Now is the time to apply it fully

of course, the biological imperative is a factor & something to be embraced, accepted, and sometimes (consciously!) enjoyed Now

Today’s lesson is: when one is working on establishing new habits, it is important to stay loving towards the other people in one’s life who are still reflecting the old patterns.

While it may be preferable to get away from those people for awhile, it’s not always possible, which can also lead to feelings of being trapped.

There is likely no reason to run away. A little extra discipline of the heart (& the mouth) is all that’s required…

From the book Love and Awakening by John Welwood

Since we originally lost touch with ourselves in our relations with others, that is where we often seek to find ourselves again. In truth, a good relationship can help us become more whole, but not in the magical way we often imagine. Instead, by calling forth deeper qualities of our nature that we have lost touch with, love also brings us up against confining identities that normally cut off our access to these qualities. And this provides a special opportunity: We have to be pushed right up against our prison walls — which are made out of old self-images — before we can start to break through them and discover who we really are. Once we are up against these walls, the need for a conscious relationship becomes more apparent, and also more imperative.

A friend shared this “anonymous” thread that’s been circulating the Internet…

——————-Women————————
—————are like apples—————–
———–on trees. The best ones————-
———are at the top of the tree.———–
——–The boys dont want to reach————
——for the good ones because they ———-
—-are afraid of falling and getting hurt.—-
–Instead, they just pick the fallen apples—-
—-from the ground that aren’t as good, ——
–but easy. So the apples at the top think—–
–something is wrong with them, when in——–
—-reality, they’re amazing. They just——–
—–have to wait for the right man to———
——- come along, the one who’s————–
————- brave enough to——————
—————–climb all———————
——————the way———————-
—————–to the top——————–
—————-of the tree——————–
————-to take the best bite.————

This is a Q&A from today’s Eckhart Tolle newsletter which was of personal interest as “Julie” reflects several things I’ve been reflecting upon…

Dear Eckhart,

My name is Julie and I am 37 years old. Just like most people I also have my own sad story, but I am pleased to say that thanks to many years of therapy, self help, meditation and recently your teachings, I identify with it less and less and rather appreciate the now and my life more and more.

In fact, I feel quite satisfied in general and I really don’t long for anything anymore… that is, except for one thing…

I am single and have been for about 6 years. I really really want to find love, a spiritual partner, and have a family. So when I ask the question ‘Is there anything wrong with this moment’, usually I answer ‘no’ and appreciate the present moment and feel the wonderful feelings that come with it. However, sometimes I feel lonely. I can usually dissolve that feeling by observing it. So the feeling does go away but it still doesn’t solve the problem that I ‘AM’ alone.

Isn’t it normal to want a partner and children, especially for a woman? Is it my ego clinging to an identity formed by society or is my need for maternity visceral and relevant?

And either way, what should I do as I really feel like this is something important that I am missing in my life and it is sometimes quite painful for me. Therefore I can accept it to a certain degree but I still long for it.

Warm regards,
Julie

Dear Juli,

At some point, life became divided into male and female, the basic polarity. On the level of our physical form, each one of us embodies this polarity. We are either male or female, which means we are only one half of the whole (I also speak about this in the Power of Now). There is a pull in every human being towards wholeness, which in essence is spiritual, i.e. the return to oneness. On the level of form this expresses itself as a longing for completion through merging with the opposite energy polarity. On the most basic level, it manifests as sexual desire, then as the emotional need to be with a man or a woman, then as love between a man and a woman. (Even in gay couples the basic polarity still operates on an energetic level).

Ultimately, of course, a sense of wholeness and deep fulfillment cannot be found on the level of form, but only through accessing the spiritual dimension of consciousness itself. It is also true that the female body is conditioned through evolution to perpetuate life, to give birth and nurture. So your desire to have a partner and children is indeed, as you put it, visceral. This in itself is not of the ego, although it can become part of it, if it is incorporated into the egoic mind’s judgements and story-making (I need a man/woman to make me happy etc.). It is at this point that male/female relationships become beset with “problems”. Even love easily becomes corrupted in this way by the mind.

So, must you remain unfulfilled unless you find a partner, have a family and children? No. (As you must have observed, there is unhappiness in many relationships and marriages).

Since the spiritual dimension has already come into your life, you are beginning to realize that the essence of your being, which is formless, is not really affected even though you may feel some sense of lack on the level of form. For some people, it is precisely the experience of some strong sense of lack that drives them deeper into their essential selves – the I Am without attributes, beingness itself. Of course, you remain open for a relationship or marriage to come into your life, of course you would be happy to have children and indeed this may still happen. But your inner peace and your sense of who you are do not depend on it.

Generally speaking, whenever you experience the lack of something on the level of form that is conventionally considered important for one’s happiness (lack of relationships, of money, lack of freedom, of health, of social identity etc.), use this, while it lasts, as an opportunity to go more deeply within to find the Being that you are prior to all identifications. At the same time, you do what you can on the outer level to remedy this lack. You are much more likely to succeed without if you have already succeeded within. In any case, there is a sense of inner freedom from what happens or doesn’t happen.

Blessings on your journey. Eckhart.

I am involved with two major projects where I am one woman working with a group of men.

I have been encountering reflections from other women who feel that I am somehow being dominated or taken advantage of in these situations. While I appreciate my sisters’ concern, I am going to continue on the path I am currently on (while keeping my eyes open for shifting tides.)

Upon reflection, I feel that at the core things are okay and that these ideas are a function of reflections around collective anger over “the patriarchy” in general that many women (including myself) carry.

I grew up with a feminist mother and see that while yes, male dominance is certainly a factor in our history & society there is also a great need for men and women to work together. In many ways I feel this is the naturally intended order of things for humanity.

Does this make me weak or submissive? No!

There are always going to be “power” issues in my work and personal relationships (with both men AND women) and I feel that I’m currently in the right place and doing the right thing.

Last night I went along with a friend to a burlesque show that featured everyday women who had gone to a series of classes on the subject about how to create an act & attach pasties to themselves, etc.

And no, you won’t be seeing me doing it in a neighbourhood bar!

This study of sexual selection found that creativity is more of a factor in attraction than material wealth.

This study is fascinating however I think it’s difficult to measure the whys of attraction. I like the French concept of it being about je ne sais quoi.

Sexual Selection for Cultural Displays
http://www.unm.edu/~psych/faculty/cultural_displays.htm
Human culture does not make much sense as a set of survival adaptations shaped by natural selection. Too much of cultural behaviour, such as art, music, ritual, ideology, myth, humour, and story-telling, seems so expensive in terms of time, energy, and practice costs, and so useless for survival. Anthropologists have struggled for a century to find plausible survival functions for such cultural behaviours, and have not succeeded to their general satisfaction. Indeed, the difficulty of finding survival functions for much of human culture has led many cultural anthropologists to abandon evolutionary explanation altogether as irrelevant and distracting.

This pessimism is misplaced, because it ignores the astonishing revival of Darwin’s sexual selection theory in biology over the last two decades. That revival has not been taken seriously by cultural theorists, but it seems to offer their best hope for a fruitful connection with human evolutionary psychology. Human culture makes a great deal of sense as a set of courtship adaptations shaped by sexual selection through mate choice. The costs and aesthetics of cultural behaviour that make it so inexplicable in survival terms make it perfect as a set of reliable fitness indicators that help advertise one’s superiority over sexual competitors. This hypothesis offers a natural way of explaining the distinctive age and sex patterns of human cultural production.

Last night I watched the 2005 movie version of the classic book (from 1813!) Pride and Prejudice.

Of course no movie can ever equal what a book can be. I love the florid descriptions in gorgeous early 19th century English…

Elizabeth, feeling all the more than common awkwardness and anxiety of his situation, now forced herself to speak; and immediately, though not very fluently, gave him to understand that her sentiments had undergone so material a change, since the period to which he alluded, as to make her receive with gratitude and pleasure his present assurances. The happiness which this reply produced, was such as he had probably never felt before; and he expressed himself on the occasion as sensibly and as warmly as a man violently in love can be supposed to do. Had Elizabeth been able to encounter his eye, she might have seen how well the expression of heartfelt delight, diffused over his face, became him; but, though she could not look, she could listen, and he told her of feelings, which, in proving of what importance she was to him, made his affection every moment more valuable.

today I release
seeking the right person
and embrace
becoming the right person

Here’s a compelling passage from The Power of Now around relationships which I agree with: relationships are meant to be a path to consciousness rather than something to “make you happy.” Happiness comes and goes like weather whether we’re single or in a partnership, though going through the ups and downs with someone can be very life enriching and educational with the right attitude.

Making someone else responsible for your happiness is definitely a doomed strategy in the end and sometimes the times of dischord bring the deepest learning experienes…

Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is our only chance of survival as a race. This will affect every aspect of your life and close relationships in particular. Never before have relationships been as problematic and conflict ridden as they are now. As you may have noticed, they are not here to make you happy or fulfilled. If you continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again. But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world. For those who hold on to the old patterns, there will be increasing pain, violence, confusion, and madness.

The paragraph below comes from a Maclean’s article called “Fears of a Clown: Why Men are Scared Off by Funny Women” (Oct 31, 2005) and it made me laugh.

In recent studies, men and women are in complete agreement that, when it comes to choosing a romantic partner, a good sense of humour is crucial. The twist is in how the two genders define this quality. According to a new McMaster University study, a typical woman believes a good sense of humour is the ability to “generate” high-quality humour (i.e. to make her laugh.) Conversely, the average man defines it as a woman’s ability to “appreciate” his particular brand of humour (i.e. to laugh at his jokes.) “We found that men don’t care at all about women’s humour production,” says psychology professor Sigal Balshine, a co-author of the study.

Though I don’t generally go for generalizations about people based on gender, I thought this was interesting & would like to hear some male feedback in the comments…

This is one of the best articles I’ve read on women’s body issues in a long time…

The Weighting Game
http://www.judithstable.org/weightinggame_glaser.html
We have known for years that we live in a patriarchal society that inspires women to organize themselves around being attractive and accommodating to men. Despite our “knowledge” that the societal standard of beauty creates pressure to conform and pain when we cannot, many of us still accept society’s definitions of beauty and dutifully try to adhere. I’m not talking about a healthy motivation to look and feel good. I am talking about the ways we objectify ourselves, such as literally measuring our value in a waist or bra size, or letting a slightly higher-than-desired number on a scale ruin our day. So, I ask, how long do we wait to lose that extra bit of weight (that will finally make us feel good . . . right?) before we give up the game? Why, when we have made so many advances, are so many of us still, to varying degrees, enslaved to ‘the cultural eye’?

Julia Cameron’s book God is No Laughing Matter: Observations and Objections on the Spiritual Path is a fun exploration of the “spiritual” journey and includes very funny commentary on the spiritual materialism of “Very Spiritual People” and common sense observations about awareness of the greater reality.

Here’s a selection from the chapter on sex which I think is bang-on!

God knew we’d like slow dancing. And dirty dancing. And African dancing and spinning like the Sufis do, so your underpants show. God wasn’t embarassed by any of it. I’m not saying God watched us like a porno film, but God was in on the whole thing, so to speak.

God invented making babies. God invented making whoopee. God invented tits and ass — and a few other moveable feasts. What I’m wondering about is how we got so embarassed about all of it? What I want to know was who decided God was a prude? And who got the idea that God would like us better if we gave up something so nice.

The sex advice I gave to a fourteen year old girl was, “Do whatever, but be careful about who you do it with!” Next time I’ll add, “And assume everyone will find out about it.”

Sex, ETC.
http://www.sxetc.org
We, the teen writers and editors of SEX, ETC., believe that all teens deserve honest, medically-accurate and balanced information about human sexuality so that we can make responsible choices about our sexual health. We believe that teen-to-teen communication is one of the best ways to educate teens about human sexuality and sexual health.

I’m learning that when we spend more focus on be-ing Love than seeking it, there becomes less of a need to need it. It’s a combination of the fact that when you feel you’re a whole person who doesn’t need to be “completed” you’re happier and that Love flows to us more readily when we’re genuinely confident and happy.

This passage from The Mayan Oracle describes it well:

As you become aware of the natural unity that exists within you, you will naturally attract other beings who have integrated and balanced their polarities. Or you will draw into your life opposites who can assist you in mirroring parts of yourself that are not yet fully balanced. As you unify your internal polarities, you will see profound results in your external world.

I’ve heard many people complain that they meet far more people that seem attracted to them when they are “taken” (i.e. in an exclusive relationship) than when they are actively looking to meet someone. This is more than just Murphy’s Law. This has to do with the fact that when we’re feeling good about ourselves and not trying too hard, we’re far more attractive to everyone than when we seem desperate.

Being ok with being “alone” and focus on self-refinement also seems to help…

I just remembered a good piece of advice a friend gave me awhile back: if two people hug each other with their left arms up and right arms around each others’ waists, it makes their hearts touch, which leads to a more satisfying hug!

Pass it on.

Sometimes, despite your best efforts to be kind and friendly, some people are just not going to like you. It’s important not to assume that if someone is grumpy or doesn’t say hi that it’s because of you, but sometimes the signals are obvious.

It’s hard to know what’s going on in people’s heads. All you can really do is to let it roll off your back and not let the situation make you feel bad about yourself, especially when you haven’t done anything wrong.

In the United States, there has been an emphasis on “abstinence only” sex education. This means that they tell kids that sex is bad and that they shouldn’t do it except inside marriage.

I wish we would teach young people the consequences of having sex with the wrong person for the wrong reasons and the joys of sex when combined with love & respect.

Teen sex increased after abstinence program
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6894568
Despite taking courses emphasizing abstinence-only themes, teenagers in 29 high schools became increasingly sexually active, mirroring the overall state trends, according to the study conducted by researchers at Texas A&M University.

“We didn’t see any strong indications that these programs were having an impact in the direction desired,” said Dr. Buzz Pruitt, who directed the study.

Sex And The Disgruntled Teen
More proof that *not* having sex is sad and dangerous — even in Texas. What is wrong with us?
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2005/02/25/notes022505.DTL&nl=fix
Which is to say, you want to virtually guarantee more unsafe sex and increased rates of teen pregnancy and more disrespect for the flesh and a tragic ignorance of all things sensual and delicious and naked in the world? You want more sullen teens and violent youth culture and a virulent 50-percent divorce rate among people who have no idea what good sex is really all about? Keep advocating those abstinence programs, senator.

Some members of the Catholic Church are speaking up about the Vatican’s refusal to condone the use of birth control, especially condoms.

Spain’s bishops reject stand on condoms
Church spokesman condoned their use to prevent AIDS
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2005/01/20/MNG4OAT70T1.DTL
Martinez’s words, published in Italian newspapers Wednesday, created a stir in the Vatican. Bishop Jose Luis Redrado Machite, secretary of the Pontifical Council for Pastoral Assistance to Health Care Workers, asserted that use of condoms was “contrary to Catholic morality.”

One Vatican official conjectured that the Spanish bishops conference may have been following the influence of Jesuit leaders in appearing to accept condom use. Jesuit clerics in Africa, where the spread of AIDS is among the most severe in the world, have openly pressed for the condom ban to be lifted.

Catholic Church and Birth Control
http://www.lisashea.com/lisabase/aboutme/birthcontrol.html
Catholics merrily maintain this differentiation between “being Catholic” and “doing what the Pope says to do”, while donating millions of dollars to fund the Pope’s agenda. Even more disturbing, only 17.3% of the world is Catholic – but their doctrines on issues such as birth control and abortion affect every single woman. There have been countless studies that tie birth control and abortion rights to better living conditions (and survival rates!) for females and for entire families. I.e. proper family planning ensures that the family has good living conditions – while having too many kids can cause death for the mother and squalor for the family members.

The full responsibility here lies with Catholic Church members. It’s not like NON Catholics can get the Catholic church to change. 96% of Catholic women have used birth control – yet they give money and support to an institution which is the SOLE voice against birth control. It is their responsibility to force the Catholic church to change – or to withhold that income so that the church does not have the power. Otherwise they are directly responsible for the casualties caused across the entire world, because of their “paid representatives” in the clergy. Nobody else can possibly cause that change to occur.

There is currently a lot of inadequate sex education going on in the United States. Federal government policy is being developed around pseudo-Christian dogma instead of reality.

Sexual ignorance leads to more teen pregnancy, more sexually transmitted disease, and more people getting married too young (any of which can lead to difficulties on the path of life!)

Facts of life turn out to be fiction for millions of US pupils
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2004/12/03/wus03.xml&sSheet=/news/2004/12/03/ixworld.html
The curricula are bought by school districts from educational publishers, many with close ties to conservative Christian groups.

Under the philosophy of abstinence-only education, schoolchildren must not be taught about birth control methods or how to have “safe sex”, for fear of leading them astray. Instead, they should simply be instructed that any sex outside a monogamous marriage can end their lives and destroy the fabric of society.

Here’s the latest from Mark Morford if you’re not already subscribed to his weekly email list…

America Loves Kinky Sex
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2004/12/01/notes120104.DTL&nl=fix
Because here’s the fabulous thing: no matter what these faux-Christian groups do, no matter how hard they oppress and protest and clamp down, this is a road that leads, despite all dour headlines and sour prognostications otherwise, toward spiritual illumination, toward awareness, toward sexual openness and same-sex marriage and revelatory sodomy and free vibrators for teenage girls and lesbians kissing open mouthed in the streets. In Kentucky. In the daytime. On Sunday.