margonaut blog archive (2004-2014)

2Apr/133

stream of consciousness life update

I haven't updated this page much lately, I've wondered if anyone really reads this other than 3 or 4 friends.

Right now I'm living in Toronto, doing a cubicle job and playing music as much as possible. The work I'm doing suits me (data management) but I'm underpaid and receive no benefits because I'm "on contract" (renewals every 6 months, for now) which I think is an immoral accounting trick. I'm looking but not holding my breath.

I get by OK because I live quite simply and have no kids, pets, TV, car, or debt payments. I think I could do better financially and am looking into obtaining some kind of tech credential, probably related to working with databases. I understand that my "life's work" and my livelihood may never be the same thing and that's OK.

I'm playing drums in a band that sounds amazing live, but we haven't put together any recordings that do it justice yet. I don't think we'll ever be popular, but the music is fantastic and the way it feels even in practice is a major peak experience, every week. I've also recently joined another group that is more gentle and mellow and I still play flute and sing. I also go to drum circles and many concerts. I feel music more viscerally than most, and that alone is enough to keep me going, to give me a sense of purpose in life.

Lately I've been thinking about writing more than I write but that's changing. I have about 200 pages of a novel and I'm going to cut out the boring parts and retool everything. I'm aware that I've been "going to" do this for awhile but yet I'm confident that when it's time, it will happen.

I'm older but still look mostly the same, if not better. I'd like to find someone to "be with" but not liking TV alone makes me incompatible with most.

Things will be different in a few months, most likely.

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Comments (3) Trackbacks (0)
  1. Thanks for the update. It would be nice if you had job security, that’s for sure, but that you keep your day to day expenses so low I am sure puts you way ahead of some people. We don’t have a TV subscription in our house as we found we were hardly watching it, so I know what you’re talking about – hearing conversations others have about the episode last night. I’m glad you have so much music in your life; that you have that passion and can live it is very fortunate.

  2. I like reading this – feels like we’ve had a conversation :-).

  3. Yup. Still reading, though I’ll admit I don’t check in on you every day. I have been reading your writing for so long I feel like I’m dropping in on a friend who I’ve never really met. Granted, it’s a one sided conversation since I don’t write to you, other than sending you a book or two a long time ago. But this is a role in life *I* enjoy. Watching other people’s lives and seeing how they live.

    Frankly, I admire you. You are willing to post and put yourself out there, which I am not. I’ve tried to write a blog a few different times, but I find I don’t have much to say. It’s like walking up to a mike in a giant arena with bright lights. I find I can’t open my mouth because I’m convinced no one is out there (or wants to hear what I have to say). So, Kudos to you.

    I’m here. I’m reading / listening.

    Thanks for letting me be a silent part of your journey.


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