margonaut blog archive (2004-2014)


on playing hard to get vs. being consciously choosy

From the book Love and Awakening by John Welwood

Since we originally lost touch with ourselves in our relations with others, that is where we often seek to find ourselves again. In truth, a good relationship can help us become more whole, but not in the magical way we often imagine. Instead, by calling forth deeper qualities of our nature that we have lost touch with, love also brings us up against confining identities that normally cut off our access to these qualities. And this provides a special opportunity: We have to be pushed right up against our prison walls -- which are made out of old self-images -- before we can start to break through them and discover who we really are. Once we are up against these walls, the need for a conscious relationship becomes more apparent, and also more imperative.



psychic surgery

raw and real
stings sometimes
(and keeps some of us compelled to come back)
the truth is:
all is Love!


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apple season

A friend shared this "anonymous" thread that's been circulating the Internet...

---------------are like apples-----------------
-----------on trees. The best ones-------------
---------are at the top of the tree.-----------
--------The boys dont want to reach------------
------for the good ones because they ----------
----are afraid of falling and getting hurt.----
--Instead, they just pick the fallen apples----
----from the ground that aren't as good, ------
--but easy. So the apples at the top think-----
--something is wrong with them, when in--------
----reality, they're amazing. They just--------
-----have to wait for the right man to---------
------- come along, the one who's--------------
------------- brave enough to------------------
-----------------climb all---------------------
------------------the way----------------------
-----------------to the top--------------------
----------------of the tree--------------------
-------------to take the best bite.------------


the overarching vision

A few years ago I wrote a piece on goal setting for a life coach and was encouraged to come up with 100 goals for my own life. I found this difficult to do and counterintuitive and like the advice below much better...


My advice is to forget about all this "main areas of life", "many areas of life", and "wheel of life" nonsense that's been being continuously perpetuated and routinely regurgitated over and over and over again for years, many, many, many years, in self-help books, self-help audio programs, and self-help seminars by most of the so-called self-help "gurus" and, instead create *one* (the same number of "lives" you have) crystal clear, definite, overall, unified "vision" of what you want in your life.


And only then...

Will you begin making some *real* progress!

My overarching vision? Abundant organic food, clean water, love, friends, family, money, and music in a forested setting! It seems to be underway (coming faster & easier as I release resistance and let go of the "how" of how it happens!)


a delicious esoteric library

I found this site today when doing some research on the "correct" way to hang a horseshoe above one's door for good luck (I have a friend who had his upside down and wanted to break the news to him.)

The Internet Sacred Text Archive
Welcome to the largest freely available archive of online books about religion, mythology, folklore and the esoteric on the Internet. The site is dedicated to religious tolerance and scholarship, and has the largest readership of any similar site on the web.

Much of the information here would have been very difficult to find in the past, and possessing some of it would have been downright heretical and thus risky. Today we can "Google" it.

What an amazing age we live in. I love the Internet!

The Magic of The Horseshoe, chapter 15

The stranger asked to see the shoe;
The farmer brought it into view;
But when the old man raised his head,
He laughed outright and quickly said:
"No wonder skies upon you frown,
You've nailed the horse-shoe upside down;
Just turn it round, and soon you'll see
How you and Fortune will agree.



lack of Love?

This is a Q&A from today's Eckhart Tolle newsletter which was of personal interest as "Julie" reflects several things I've been reflecting upon...

Dear Eckhart,

My name is Julie and I am 37 years old. Just like most people I also have my own sad story, but I am pleased to say that thanks to many years of therapy, self help, meditation and recently your teachings, I identify with it less and less and rather appreciate the now and my life more and more.

In fact, I feel quite satisfied in general and I really don't long for anything anymore… that is, except for one thing…

I am single and have been for about 6 years. I really really want to find love, a spiritual partner, and have a family. So when I ask the question 'Is there anything wrong with this moment', usually I answer 'no' and appreciate the present moment and feel the wonderful feelings that come with it. However, sometimes I feel lonely. I can usually dissolve that feeling by observing it. So the feeling does go away but it still doesn't solve the problem that I 'AM' alone.

Isn't it normal to want a partner and children, especially for a woman? Is it my ego clinging to an identity formed by society or is my need for maternity visceral and relevant?

And either way, what should I do as I really feel like this is something important that I am missing in my life and it is sometimes quite painful for me. Therefore I can accept it to a certain degree but I still long for it.

Warm regards,

Dear Juli,

At some point, life became divided into male and female, the basic polarity. On the level of our physical form, each one of us embodies this polarity. We are either male or female, which means we are only one half of the whole (I also speak about this in the Power of Now). There is a pull in every human being towards wholeness, which in essence is spiritual, i.e. the return to oneness. On the level of form this expresses itself as a longing for completion through merging with the opposite energy polarity. On the most basic level, it manifests as sexual desire, then as the emotional need to be with a man or a woman, then as love between a man and a woman. (Even in gay couples the basic polarity still operates on an energetic level).

Ultimately, of course, a sense of wholeness and deep fulfillment cannot be found on the level of form, but only through accessing the spiritual dimension of consciousness itself. It is also true that the female body is conditioned through evolution to perpetuate life, to give birth and nurture. So your desire to have a partner and children is indeed, as you put it, visceral. This in itself is not of the ego, although it can become part of it, if it is incorporated into the egoic mind’s judgements and story-making (I need a man/woman to make me happy etc.). It is at this point that male/female relationships become beset with “problems”. Even love easily becomes corrupted in this way by the mind.

So, must you remain unfulfilled unless you find a partner, have a family and children? No. (As you must have observed, there is unhappiness in many relationships and marriages).

Since the spiritual dimension has already come into your life, you are beginning to realize that the essence of your being, which is formless, is not really affected even though you may feel some sense of lack on the level of form. For some people, it is precisely the experience of some strong sense of lack that drives them deeper into their essential selves – the I Am without attributes, beingness itself. Of course, you remain open for a relationship or marriage to come into your life, of course you would be happy to have children and indeed this may still happen. But your inner peace and your sense of who you are do not depend on it.

Generally speaking, whenever you experience the lack of something on the level of form that is conventionally considered important for one’s happiness (lack of relationships, of money, lack of freedom, of health, of social identity etc.), use this, while it lasts, as an opportunity to go more deeply within to find the Being that you are prior to all identifications. At the same time, you do what you can on the outer level to remedy this lack. You are much more likely to succeed without if you have already succeeded within. In any case, there is a sense of inner freedom from what happens or doesn’t happen.

Blessings on your journey. Eckhart.


a day of shift

This morning, I woke up feeling highly anxious, which I balanced out into Serenity again via a meditative walk in gorgeous Cliff Gilker Park.

It's a wild time on Planet Earth right now and we're all feeling it (we each just make up different stories about what's going on.)

As my wise friends G&S say, "The Inevitable Happens Now."



a nice October

I now have a nice contract doing research and database development helping the green business directory expand into new areas and I'm loving being back at the old house with friends who really love me.

I am gaining momentum and feeling good!



an allliteration

ancient angels
alien ambassadors
and aspiring adepts

allies amassing!

altered anatomies
adroit attitudes
and accelerating agility

advantageous abilities!

adoring adventure
always adapting
and activating ascension

an amazing age!